Tennis is a great sport for teaching children the important life lessons such as resilience, discipline, independence and respect. When it comes to playing in a tournament it’s very easy for emotions to run high for children and adults alike. As someone involved in tennis, you will know tournaments are the place to help aid development and put everything into practice. The key questions is how can parents/guardians support their child without overwhelming them?
Here are a few tips and guidelines for a tournament day:
Focus on the process, not the outcome
Tennis is a brutally honest environment; you are on your own on a court with no one able to substitute in for you and nowhere to hide. Whilst sometimes you can have a teammate, that can also add to the pressure of playing a tournament. The losses can feel very personal.
Instead of asking “Did you win?” “What was the score?” “Why didn’t you play like you did in your training?”
Try asking “Did you give 100% effort today?” “What did you do well today?” “What did you learn today?”
Parents/Guardians play a vital role in helping children understand that effort, attitude and improvement matter more than the results to enable long term resilience, not short-term fear of failure. If this isn’t handled in the right way from the offset, it can be very difficult to correct further down the development stages.
Let the coach be the coach
One of the most common mistakes in junior tennis is mixed messaging. If a coach is working on technical improvement, tactical patience or second serve confidence. And a parent/guardian is saying “just hit it harder”, “why didn’t you go down the line?” “you should’ve finished that at the net” This will obviously create confusion and tension between all parties involved. The most powerful thing a parent/guardian can say after a match is “What did your coach say?”. This will reinforce trust in the coaching process and keep roles clear.
Master the car journey home
The journey home is often the most emotionally charged moment. A simple rule is to wait for your child to start the conversation.
Great car phrases could be:
“I loved watching you compete”
“I’m proud of how you handled that tough second set”
“Win or lose, I enjoy watching you play”
Make the car a safe space not a performance review.
Model emotional control
Children watch their parents/guardians more than the match. If you argue line calls, show visible frustration, criticise opponents or officials, storm off when things go wrong. They will absorb this behaviour. Calm parents/guardians can help create calmer competitors.
Help them prepare practically
Parents/guardians can play a huge role in the logistics of competition. They can ensure the player is well hydrated, pack snacks, bring spare grips, drinks, towels and layers.
Arrive early to relieve stress and encourage a proper warm up.
Teach perspective
In junior tennis some children mature earlier physically, rankings can fluctuate, results can change quickly.
Remind them development isn’t linear, losses are information, confidence is built through tough matches.
Encourage independence
As a child grows up, tournaments become a great environment to learn important life skills.
They can sign themselves in, warm up independently, manage score disputes calmly, pack their own tennis bag. The goal is not to just be better at tennis but to become capable young adults.
Keep tennis fun
Even competitive players need to have fun. It’s really important to celebrate moments such as a brave second serve, a long rally, good sportsmanship, a comeback effort.
When enjoyment disappears, a drop in performance usually follows.
Final thoughts
The most successful junior players aren’t always the ones that are most naturally gifted early on they’re the ones that feel supported, feel safe to fail, feel loved regardless of the results.
If a child finishes a tournament believing “my parents/guardians enjoy watching me try” You’ve done your job perfectly.